Local Politics is Dead.

In the oh-so-recent political climate, several political controversies (namely that of MP's expenses, the tuition fee shambles, and the NHS debacle), have created a wave of apathy amongst the general public and, in particular, younger voters. This is not to specifically state that political apathy is the sole problem of the younger generations, but it is a nationwide pandemic that has been eating at the heart and soul of British politics for many generations. There are several reasons and explanations behind this tsunami of not-giving-a-shit, and most of these can be put down to crusty old politicians behaving and talking like dicks.
In a few, short weeks we have the opportunity of a generation. We can make real change in politics. Yes, we've been given a shit choice between two, let's be honest, crap electoral systems but it is an opportunity that we should grasp and wave in David Cameron's lying mutton chops. The Alternative Vote is not the best system, but it is insurmountably better than a politician being elected on less than 50% of the vote. But, who cares? The excitement that should be raised by this issue is non-existent. And why is this? Well, we've got the ever-charismatic Ed Milliband (who, I won't lie, I had semi-big hopes for when he got the Labour leadership) and cantankerous old git Vince Cable 'rallying' the #Yes2AV campaign. Who the hell is going to listen to these suit-wearing tossers? I certainly haven't been. They're boring. The result of this tedium is that the electoral turnout in this once-in-a-lifetime vote will be less than half of the population, and most of those will only have turned out to vote the local tosser Councilor out of office, barely noticing that there is a greater issue afoot.
Do we ever wonder why local elections get such a low voter turnout? The undeniable boredom of it all makes it almost impossible for anybody to want to connect.
There are, however, ways of making them vote. The Australian method of making it mandatory to vote is appealing if not popular. If it is your democratic right to vote, perhaps it is also your democratic right to not give a toss and stick to fingers up (or one finger, depending on your preference) to the "man". And, lets be honest, politics is full of knuckle-dragging, suit-wearing men. There is always the financial incentive. Perhaps a fiver off your council tax is the way to financially encourage people to care about which arsehole is lying about his manifesto. This would be popular with the average joe, but when has Government ever sought to do anything that is so obviously popular?
The third option is American. Not the American political system (which, while has its merits, is a political joke - others, I know, will disagree) but the enthusiasm. How did Obama get in to the White House while being hated by a vast number of Southern racist, pitchfork waving Neanderthals? By having charisma. By inspiring people. By not having a stone-faced posh person look. By being interested in basketball. By not looking like a twat while delivering a dismal 'good-luck' message to the England football team. The only way we will get people interested in politics again is if we suddenly have a vote on whether Hugh Grant, Colin Firth or Helen Mirren is to be proclaimed King/Queen of the Lager Louts, set in front of a live studio audience, with Mr High-Waistband Cowell himself compering proceedings. Where the hell is England's Schwarzenegger?
Perhaps the problem is, however, that politicians live in their own world where they get to accomplish what they want and grasp at the "power" that they crave that they simply have no interest in stirring up the emotions of the people that they, supposedly, serve. As long as nobody gives two figs, there is nobody to vote in Councilor Grant, or Prime Minister Caine.

Politics starts from the top down. It shouldn't. It does. Until somebody enthuses from the top, the bottom will drown in a sea of apathy.

Politics is Boring

It had been suggested that instead of simply forwarding my obscure political ramblings via email, to people who I think will actually care, I should scribble my musings in a blog. We'll see how it goes and work from there.

In the small, small world of local politics, pretty much nothing happens between elections. Nothing. Ever. Zip. From the time the ballot box closes (in some cases, locking an over-exaggerated number out who didn't get their backsides there in time out) to the moment that the winner is announced, the the political machines begin to close down. Unless, of course you won. There is then nothing for the next few months, and for some local Parties, the next few years. For the time between elections, things are all-too-familiarly quiet in local politics for the Parties that did not win. I find it difficult to call these Parties 'losers', because in the world of politics, you need to be an eternal optimist. Otherwise, what is the point being there? You have to believe that you have the abilities, the talents and the inclination to actually make a difference for the good of everyone. Is this not a little idealist, I hear you say? Well, damn straight it is. If the media outlets are anything to go by (and they're usually not), politics is filled with swindling crooks dressed in black and white jumpers carrying a sack on their backs with the words 'EXPENSES' emblazoned on the side. I don't buy this for a second. You should want to go into politics for the right reasons. Often, however, people don't. From duck houses, to moats, to the Daily Mail's probable theory that the Queen claimed for Diana's 'murder' on her own expenses, we've had enough of corrupt gits haven't we? I just do not care about how many pies John Prescott claimed for any more. It happened. Those who milked the system are tossers. Move on. (You can find your own MP's expense list here).
The reason that all this made such delightful and entertaining reading, is because politics had never before been so outrageous and hilarious at the same time. Nothing happens in local politics outside of election season. That is, unless, you make them happen. This is something that I am already beginning to learn.
I have started to take an active role in compiling and scrutinising what my local MP does, both in the constituency and in Westminster. I want to keep close tabs on what (if anything) he actually achieves on behalf of the aging and creaking town.

Politics isn't boring if you're prepared to do something to make it not so. Stand for a Council. Volunteer for your MP if you voted for them. Piss off your MP if you didn't vote for them. But what we all must do, is to censor our MP. They work for us all, whether we voted for them or not. Not enough people do this any more. Let's make these smug gits earn their £65,738 a year.

I am not simply going to make this into a boring political blog that looks like it was written by Darth Mandelson's evil, genetically enhanced super villain publicist. I want to make it exciting, and controversial. Akin to what you'd expect an uncensored Boris Johnson dinner party to be like. Just without the fox-hunting. And pretention. And tossers.

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